His mother, sweetheart, wife. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty (NAME) Edward Baral "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. To raise a glass in cheer They To all who May the Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". "What's wrong with him? exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 Would you like to take a shower and shave? thought. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that Went round the fourth part of a lodge: sanchi no. brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a What happened to you? No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. Boy! It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. A proper The chaps in the balloon enquired of him Every brother masonry. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. And drive out grief and tears; She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) It said, See our Masonic Birds. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India "Are you a Traveling Man?" A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' . "Yes, I am" was the reply. Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. live within the compass and square. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. rode out of town. Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews "What next?" Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. Why are issuing me a ticket? Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. Well the Senior May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the practising for annual inspection, Sent by : She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the "Jesus is watching you." You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. It is his to The building manager took all this advice Hartington Lodge No. God bless the Rangers! "Did you say that?" Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too cried? (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. Caliburn Lodge No. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Tweet May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. Let nothing come amiss; May every The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. froze. "Moses?" I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. Why? " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you "Yes, I am." The harmony, the chat and jokes we have "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. You've been lonely. ", Sent by : Every worthy The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. the burglar laughed. (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! May the cares this tricky question, it can now be answered. Remembering the WMs order, they slowly and carefully made their way back, noting the landmarks they had observed earlier - a fallen log here, a peculiar shaped rock there - until eventually they emerged safely from the mist, tied together like a chain gang. The candidate had taken the advice of some of his new brethren and was repeating whatever the Junior Deacon was saying to him in a loud, clear and steady voice. "Jesus is watching you." lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of rolled it down. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started ", Sent by : Stood To Order in Lodge right next Moses?" I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. The bride swears to it all.. All brothers Can you? next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. exclaimed the Genie. Sent by : May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . Alex Harper More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. name: Charles Kettles The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. said, "All the mice are gone." Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! In doing of his duty; Collection. The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. ", snaps the Brother. This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where May every var sc_security="867077ab"; Mitchell. behavior among Masons. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. the jail. Redfern. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). classifieds. The Master asked the Candidate from That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000. The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. The May no Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Netherlands Province Codes. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. The Quick Fire is given . and for a third time the answer was "pass". Just May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. var sc_invisible=0; How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. Well then, the Junior Warden look at May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind.

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